Remember, Momma said

You can't hurry love.

So stop trying!

I know, I'm not anyone to be giving pointers, as some of my blog posts have been rather indicative of.  Now, I agree with many things said in Diana Ross and The Supremes' song, "You Can't Hurry Love".  But, I do humbly disagree with one statement.  The following line is "You just have to wait."

Don't worry, I will explain.  Ha, as if you thought I wouldn't.

Well, being the fool of a hyperactive romantic guy that I am, I have found ways to ease my mind, other than love.  This post is like a pun convention for puns made only from the lyrics of "You Can't Hurry Love"...  But anyhow.

A lot of times I will hear people say things like "I've been sitting here waiting for so long" or "How long is it going to take before the right one for me comes along?"  I never say this, but do they consider the fact that the right one is also looking for them?  It isn't right to make the right person do all the work, and it is time again for a graphic extravaganza!

This is the attitude many people have about life. 

HERE is where they are, and THERE is where they want to be, but they're shackled to HERE.  THERE possesses some sort of perfect scenario or characteristic that is the key to unlocking them from their shackles.  Well, the problem is that you can't reach the key that is THERE if you're only focused on HERE, because you're only THERE if you have completely left HERE.  Following?

The real kicker is that no one realizes no key exists.  Further, take a look at a zoomed in view of that same image.

Would ya look at that?  We're so focused on needing some key because the shackle has a keyhole, that we don't even realize our leg is 1/3 the size of the shackle.  Just pull your foot out, dummy!  While I joke, it isn't a bad analogy.  People always make things more complicated than they are, looking for secrets or clue trails, when honestly the issue of escaping HERE is just pulling your leg, or whatever else is stuck in the HERE and now (most often the brain).

Now that you've got your leg out of that inefficiently constructed shackle, you can continue on the journey.  Now, this next chunk does not apply to everyone, so if it doesn't, take it with a grain of salt.

Many of the people who say things like "When is the right one going to show up?" or "I've been waiting so long!", will be the same people who believe that there is one and only one person for them, connected by a path that is slowly shortening as time goes on.  So, if the path only leads one place and there are only two people on it walking towards each other, why the heck are you sitting there waiting?  What if the other person is sitting too?  It will take that much longer for you to reach each other.

     As you can see, Handsome Dude and Foxey Lady are connected by a path, what many consider 'fate'.  And boy, are they lazy.  Both of them standing there bored, waiting for each other.

This is what it should be like! 

For personalization purposes, we'll say that I'm Handsome Dude, and that gal in the bottom corner is Foxey Lady. We'll also say that Foxey Lady is sitting around waiting, presumably because she's too busy being Foxey to focus on rappelling, biking, sledding, parachuting, swimming, and jetpacking.  And Handsome Dude is totally cool with that.

Now, as you might very well argue, the path to our loved ones, or fate, rarely resembles a futuristic and improbable obstacle course.  I mean, seriously, in what sort of parallel universe is a bike free, and a jetpack free, but a crappy little disc sled costs a dollar?

Anyways, the obstacle course is a metaphor for life.  Handsome Dude is a metaphor for you, whether or not you are a dude.  See, instead of sitting around, moping, and hating people on Valentine's Day, Handsome Dude is vivaciously pursuing life.  And even though his end goal is to find Foxey Lady, he got to run upside down, sled down and sweet hill, flip the sled into a parachute, dive off a cliff into some water, and use a flippin' jetpack!  The point is this:  Instead of waiting, go do things!

Whenever I get into a conversation with a friend about 'waiting' for the right person, I like to bring up this point:  Don't wait for the right one, prepare for them.  There is a difference.  You can either sit around and let time pass you, or you can pass the time by working on making yourself ready for when that person shows up. 

For example, if you feel you are not very outgoing...

take some of the time you have until Mr. or Mrs. Right shows up to work on branching out a little bit!

If you are dissatisfied with your body image...

 use some of this time to work on whatever it is you want to work on.

If you're like me, you're more easily motivated when you're doing something for someone you love.  Well, you will love Mr. or Mrs. Right someday, so use that thought as motivation to do things you don't want to do, but will make you a better person.  I think if I were to be told that I was the inspiration for years of hard work and self-reflection and improvement, it would be one of the most meaningful things I could be told.

So, all of this to say, "You can't hurry love," but you can do more than just wait!  Prepare!

They're Crying "Save Me, Save Me"

Sometimes the stupidity of humans is terrifying.

I have a friend at college whose uncle is an alchoholic, and he is drinking himself to death.  As a side note, to all of my high school fellow students (who were superior to me because of their socialite habits), I'm sure he DIDN'T start just like you, drinking for fun, so please, don't worry about changing ANYTHING.

Anyhow.  The doctors say he has a few months to live, and he keeps sprinting headlong to the grave.  I understand and have experienced quite closely the mystery of addiction.  I know that nothing matters to an addict except their addiction, not family, not friends, sometimes not even life.  When an addict says he wants to get better, you must make as much progress as you can, because that one hour is your only shot for awhile.  23 hours of the day, an addict denies that he's got a problem, or that he wants to fix it.  1 hour of the day, usually when they are alone and at their lowest point of the day, they want to change.

Well, my friend's uncle is being divorced from their aunt, and thus she can't try to organize anyone in the family..."How can I do that when there's already a tragedy going on in the family?"  I retorted that someone is going to die and she is going to let family drama stop her from -  She hangs up on me at this point.  Well darn, call someone who doesn't honestly care enough to try and fix something if you just want someone to cry to.

This blog post is addressed to every human on the planet.  You all know someone whose habits are killing them, perhaps physically, perhaps emotionally.  Maybe it's imminent, and maybe it's 30 years or more down the road.  Regardless, don't you dare keep your mouth shut because "it isn't your place, and you can't think of causing that much of a ruckus..."

Take the least motivated, least useful human being on the planet.  And if you have the chance, save their life, no matter the consequences.  I don't know for sure, but I have a theory that they will no longer be the least motivated, least useful person on the world after they realize that someone took the time to save them.