Two Marketing Tactics That You SHOULD NOT Use To Get A Date

Sometimes, life calls for a bit of sales pizzazz.  And sometimes, dating scenarios call for a bit of sales pizzazz.  However, sometimes, dating scenarios DO NOT CALL FOR SALES PIZZAZZ*.

* I'm by no means a marketing expert.  But I've picked up enough in my day to know that some of it is just not a good idea when it comes to getting a person to go out with you.

Now that my legal obligations are out of the way, let's get into it.  Consider yourself lucky, because you're not only about to find out how to suck less at getting a date, you're also going to be able to pick up some tips on how to be a marketing champ.

1.) Market THROUGH People, Not TO People

This a solid marketing premise that can be applied to any product or idea.  The key to marketing is not to just deliver a message to someone.  That's only marketing to someone, and the buck stops there.  Getting the person excited enough to pass the message along to their friends, family, and acquaintances is how marketing really stands to deliver results.

Take this guy, for example.  Look how bored and utterly miserable that bread has made him.  He was marketed to, not marketed through.

"How disappointing.  Considering the phrase 'coolest thing since sliced bread', you'd think they'd slice it to at least make it the second coolest thing.  Nevermind, Twitter.  I'll find something else to tell you about."

Here's what it might've looked like if the manufacturers of that bread were marketing through him:

"Who cares if it's not sliced!  BUY ALL THE BREADS!  TELL ALL THE FRIENDS!"

That's more like it.  But there's more to the idea here.

From this concept of marketing THROUGH someone comes the idea that if Steve knows Jim, and Jim knows Stacy, then Steve also knows Stacy.  Not personally per se, but Steve has access to Stacy because of their mutual connection, Jim.  Isn't this the point of facebook?  "Well, no I don't know him...but 15 mutual friends?!  Friend request sent!"

So, in short, the point is to use someone you know to get to other people.

If I was trying to get a date with a girl, it'd be what we call a "Bad Idea" to ask her out, and after being turned down, say, "Hey well that's fine, but what about your friends and family?  I'll bet you've got a fine sister!  Or perhaps a divorced mother?  Doesn't matter, tell EVERYONE!"

2.) Business Cards/Electronic Press Kits

It's important to be able to leave your information with someone in one way or another.  If a great conversation is had about something, but a flier, business card, or website can't be kept in mind to refer to later, the human mind will forget the conversation.  It's just normal, with all the other information we have to absorb everyday from the web, TV, radio, billboards, conversations, school, work, etc. 

In the entertainment industry there is sometimes a website or folder of files known as an EPK, or Electronic Press Kit.  If it were for a band, for example, it would have some of their songs, promotional photos, any news clippings, booking agent contact info, and anything else relevant to the band, such as a biography or tour updates.

I'd consider it a stupid idea to have dedicated dating business cards or a press kit to refer ladies to.  First of all, since dating is so based on personal preference, and marketing is about knowing your audience, I'd have to keep a bunch of different card designs to appeal to different types of ladies.

For example, if I found myself west of the Mississippi, I'd need this card:

Or if I was at a Sci-Fi Convention, I'd need this card:

Any ladies intrigued by this card, I'll have you know that I do own and operate a
1998 Saturn SL2.

And if I wanted a card to appeal to the vast majority of women, I'd use this card:

And forget about an electronic press kit...can you imagine what the web page would look like?
 

Hint: If you can't read the small sections, zoom in on your browser.  Worth it.


I am incredibly intrigued by marketing, in all of its psychological and peer-pressure glory.  I've been tempted to use some of these practices when trying to get a date.  Hell, I just spent 6 hours using Microsoft Paint to do all of the above illustrations.  Oh how I miss my illegal copy of Photoshop, which no longer lets me enter fake serial codes to use it.

But anyhow, the point:  Sales tactics don't help you get dates, 9 times out of 10.  The 1 time out of 10 that it does work, the tactic used was to be honest, approach your target, make your attributes known to your target, and uphold the standard you set when you made your attributes known.

You better appreciate this post.  I wasn't lying when I said 6 hours.