The Parlor Mob, M83, and Electric Touch Live at JBTV Studios, Chicago IL

I'm back for a brief spell today to add a sweetener to a past blog post, The Parlor Mob Live At JBTV Studios Chicago.  Refer back via the link for a rundown of the live concert taping I covered, including lots of front row pictures, a rundown on the band's history and achievements, and conversation with the band members about their future plans.

 

Initially, I assumed The Parlor Mob performance I saw at JBTV Studios in downtown Chicago would be online a week or two after the taping.  Several months and an unspoken lesson in the TV industry later, the video of the full episode finally dropped.  I watched it feverishly, looking to relive the experience of seeing these guys again.  

I wasn't disappointed, and even saw myself a few times!  I've gotta say though, it comes as a shock to see how under-the-influence I look when I move around at a show.  For the folks back home, rest assured the only mind-altering substance I took was rock and roll.  To decide for yourself though, I'm the guy in the red shirt right in front of the lead singer.

Check out the episode now to see The Parlor Mob live, playing on the always-stylish JBTV stage.  The episode is number 5,112...so, if that gives you any idea, they've been at it for awhile and there's some truly classic footage on this website.  Green Day, Smashing Pumpkins, Dave Matthews Band and more greats all came through the studio on display at www.jbtvonline.com.

M83 is another main focus of the segment linked above.  The French electro-rock act has been charting around the world with the album "Hurry Up, We're Dreaming", which was named by Pitchfork as the number 3 album of 2011.  Check out the article (which discusses 49 other albums given the nod by Pitchfork) here, and visit M83 online here.

Electric Touch, an Austin-based band blending classic rock and British punk, are also featured in the JBTV segment.  You can visit Electric Touch on the web at electrictouch.com for more info if their performance catches your eye!


To see live performances of The Parlor Mob, M83, and Electric Touch, click here!

To see me dance like it's the summer of love, use the same link.

The Parlor Mob Live At JBTV Studios, Chicago IL

Thursday, March 30th, I was fortunate enough to be doing something cool at 2 PM.  I flunked out of college, so I wasn't in class.  I have a part-time job, so I wasn't behind some desk.  I'm single, so I wasn't arguing with anybody.

I love good rock music, so I was watching The Parlor Mob kick ass.

It wasn't my first time seeing them, but it sure felt like it.  I saw them at Bottom Lounge a few months ago and my mind was blown.  I had heard they were good live, but experiencing it is a lot different from hearing about it...like kissing a girl.  At least, that's what my girl-kissing friends tell me. 

I decided then and there, at that first show, that I'd be back the next time they were back. Well, they were back.  And so was I.

But first, a brief intro on the band:  The Parlor Mob come from Asbury Park, New Jersey, and have been together since 2004.  They are signed to Roadrunner Records (label home of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Rush, Lenny Kravitz, Megadeath, Killswitch Engage, and many more).

The Parlor Mob, left to right:

 Paul Ritchie (guitars), Anthony Chick (bass), David Rosen (guitars),

Sam Bey (drums), Mark Melicia (vocals)

Their first full-length album 'And You Were A Crow' hit in 2008.  Check out the music video for 'Hard Times', one of the best tracks of the album.  And just so you know they can rock as hard with a mellow setup as they can with distortion-laden guitars, here's the video for 'Can't Keep No Good Boy Down'.  They began touring on the album and wouldn't be off the clock for about two years. They toured heavily in Europe and America alike, and were part of the mega-fests SXSW and Lollapalooza.

And get this: after 2 years of touring, traveling nonstop, living in vans and hotels and getting into arguments about who drank all the shitty hotel coffee...they jumped right back into the studio and pressed out the head-banging, foot-stomping, fist-shaking 'Dogs', which was named Rock Album Of The Year 2011 by iTunes.




The single from 'Dogs' is 'Into The Sun', a track so rock and roll you can hardly believe it comes from a band who shares a record label with Nickelback.  'American Dream' rocks hard too, and hits a topic very dear to me as it asks the question ''What if we spend our life chasing a dream we don't want by the time we get it?''  If you want a more laid-back listen, 'I Want To See You' is a broody tune with a groovy rhythm section and atmospheric effects-driven guitars.

Look, they just kick ass.  It's what they do.  Doctors cure, lawyers lie, carpenters build, The Mob kick ass.  It's just their thing.  But if you need further proof, keep reading, and check out their website here. 


It's pretty apparent that I love them, but I'm aware that doesn't mean they'll be your favorite, too.  They are a nearly perfect band for my tastes, but not everybody can dig them.  They occasionally have extended jams with lots of instrumentation but no vocals, which isn't everyone's favorite.  Both musically and lyrically speaking, their work has substance.  Much of it is danceable and not so heavy that you can't let your hair down, but they sing about things that matter.  Some people avoid this at all costs.  If you're one of them, you've been forewarned.  But never fear, I've got something for you too!  For guaranteed lack-of-meaning, link to the Top 40 charts here.

But to continue:  I found out via twitter @theparlormob about a free concert taping at JBTV Studios (a Chicago rock staple for 26 years, link here), entered a contest to get tickets, and won!  If you're into concerts, do check out the JBTV website, they give away tickets every time they do a taping.

The lounge of JBTV Studios located in River North, Chicago.  Rock memorabilia lined the walls from other greats who graced these halls (Smashing Pumpkins, Green Day, Dave Matthews Band among many others).

Waiting in the lounge and seeing several members of the band walk through had me thoroughly anxious and impatient for the show to begin.  But when it did begin, the air caught fire.  Luckily, I was able to catch some good pictures of The Parlor Mob in their natural habitat, live on stage. 

Pictured above are bassist Anthony Chick and guitarist Dave Rosen.  Anthony Chick, left, is one of the better bass players I've seen in today's music.  He sticks to the background, and his reserved visual presence misrepresents the enormous musical presence he fills with four strings.  He has no misconceptions about the instrument; he is neither a downgraded guitarist who only follows the guitar chords, nor a self-glorified prodigy trying to play solos throughout the entire song. 

He is a perfect blend of both, and when he transitions from simple-yet-befitting bass lines to groovy fills, it catches you off guard.  And he's humble, too.  When I talked with him later, he sincerely thanked me for the compliments.

Sam Bey (fellow Gretsch player to me and distinctly amazing drummer) does with a small drum set what most drummers can't do with two drum sets.  Like bassist Anthony Chick, he too will catch you off guard.  His playing is always compelling, but as a listener you get spoiled from hearing such a great drummer.  So to remind you not to take him for granted, he occasionally wakes you up with thunderous fills.  From the audience you see a head bobbing, hair flying, two arms moving and not much else, but the sonic wall that hits you convinces you he has four legs doing the rest of the work. 

Every song is a testament to his prowess behind the kit, but check out the closing track of 'Dogs', 'The Beginning'.  I can vouch that on two live occasions it sounded as good as on the record, and that both times it opened my eyes wide while my ears played catch-up.  I can't say enough about Sam Bey and his rightful place as one of the best drummers in modern rock music.

Paul Ritchie was one of the Mobsters nearest to me, and as you'll see momentarily...

...he has hair and he's not afraid to use it.  His stage presence is powerful, switching between calm and completely untethered at the drop of a hat.  Or, the drop of some hair.  But regardless of if he's standing there or dropping down and then up again, his playing demands your attention.  Of the two guitarists, Paul seems to be the bigger student of classic rock and blues.  His rhythm parts are infectious and his solos full of soul. 

On an unrelated note, he's rock and roll enough to keep his keys on his belt on-stage.  I guess if you spent 2 years in a row playing shows and jumping in the van immediately afterwards, you'd want the keys handy, too.

There is one thing I don't like about The Parlor Mob.  Since they have two lead guitarists, Paul Ritchie and David Rosen (Rosen pictured here), I never know which direction to look for ripping solos.  In some situations I like to call "guitar tennis", they will both solo at the same time and I'm forced to look back and forth quickly if I don't want to miss anything good.  When my head was trained on Dave (I can call him Dave because I met him twice and he never told me not to call him Dave), I witnessed complete dominance over the electric guitar. 

With the raw energy he exhibits while navigating the frets, Dave Rosen is a joy to watch.  It's clear that he escapes to another place when he's on stage, and the audience feeds off of his passion.

Mark Melicia isn't the flashiest frontman.  He doesn't wear gimmicky outfits, he doesn't scream obscenities seeking approval from teenagers who still giggle when they hear the 'fuck' word, and he certainly doesn't try to hog the spotlight.  However, this lack of glitter and glam create an essential part of The Parlor Mob mix.  He moves fluidly around the stage and is completely comfortable. This at-home attitude lets the audience join him in being comfortable while he makes them an offer they can't refuse. 

With a truly remarkable voice that hearkens back to the good old days of Rock n' Roll, Mark Melicia lets loose with no restraint.  This utter refusal to give a shit embodies The Parlor Mob's attitude.  Between songs, he keeps the small talk to a minimum.  This does two things: it preserves him in mystery (something most vocalists are devoid of these days) and it leaves more time for rock.  That trade is more than fair.

I just now noticed: While mine leaves a bit to be desired in the fullness category, Sam and I have very similar facial hair.  It's a drummer thing; you wouldn't understand.

The Parlor Mob is quickly becoming my favorite band of the current age.  But it seems to be taking most of the world a bit longer to catch on.  It is because of this lag that you're still able to talk with the members of the band after shows.  I didn't grab pictures with the other members besides Sam, but they were all kind enough to hang around and chat for a half-hour, despite having to pack up and drive right back home to New Jersey.

But the best part was that after the typical things I would say to my favorite musicians, like "Awesome show!" and "I want to have your baby!", I found it easy to jump into regular conversation.  I asked guitarist Dave Rosen questions about being kicked off a tour supporting The Pretty Reckless, and he spoke candidly on their discontinued involvement.  He also remembered the first time I met him backstage at Bottom Lounge, where I smoothly knocked over one of their guitar cases.

I chatted bass with Anthony Chick, and learned he had known singer Mark Melicia since 2nd grade, and drummer Sam Bey even longer.  Guitarist Paul Ritchie and singer Mark shared that they have plans to go back home, take some time and formulate a plan of action, and then come back to Chicago by or before summer.  It may seem like a small issue that they shared future plans and details on being fired from a tour, but talking openly can sometimes get label-signed bands in trouble.  The Parlor Mob are not walking, talking press releases groomed by their label to repeat what they're told to repeat.  This makes me, as a staunch fan of rock music, secure in the knowledge that they are rockers in spirit and in song.

Getting yet another chance to chill with one of my favorite bands was unreal.  And as a musician, they're not just a favorite band to listen to, they're a band I am inspired by.  I probably regularly listen to two dozen bands, many of them considered "classic rock" and legends in the world of music...but some of these legendary bands don't inspire me the way The Parlor Mob, a band full of 20-somethings, inspire me.

Bottom line is that you need to see them if they come to your area, and with any luck you'll get to hang with them after the show like I've been able to.  But our luck may be running out, because it wouldn't surprise me if they break out big any day now.  And breaking out big tends to make it impossible to chat with one fan out of thousands of fans after shows.  Regardless of whether they return in vans or aboard private jets, I'll be at the next Chicago appearance, and the next, and the next.

And as a parting gift to hold you over until you see them live, here are some more photos that turned out to be cool, and the link to their website for all news Mob-related: http://www.theparlormob.com/

The Meaning Of Lives

Over the last week or so, I've been repeatedly pondering a certain subject.  Whenever my mind isn't fully occupied by something else, it always wanders back into the territory of 'life meaning'.

I don't mean this as in, "WHAT'S THE MEANING OF LIFE?!".

That would be a stupid question to ask you, because Google already knows.  It's Christopher Walken building Optimus Prime.

What I mean by 'life meaning' is the concept of how everyone's life is about something.  Everyone finds something to dedicate their life to.  Even the most unmotivated, seemingly-going-nowhere person makes their life about something.

As of right now, I've chose to make my life about music.  Some people you know make their life about their job.  Some people live for their faith or religion.  Some people live for other people, some people live only for themselves.

I don't find this concept weird or unusual or anything like that, so that's not why I've been pondering it.  I think mostly I ponder it because it strikes me as a whole new way to view people.  Rather than seeing someone based on what they look like, or how they act, or how they talk, or whatever, it's this entity that is completely separate from the person, yet still sums them up perfectly.

If that needs explaining, it's like this:  Who you are and what you do are completely different things.  But, who you are affects what you do, and what you do will eventually affect who you are.  And aside from 'eventually', even in the here-and-now, what someone does says a great deal about who they are.

If someone has made their life about drug addiction, it says certain things about who they are.  If someone has made their life about putting everyone else before themselves, it says certain other things about who they are.

I think in order to make this be more than just a mental upload to my blog, I'll pose the question:  What is it that you make your life about?  Don't stop there though, because the next question is more important.

Whatever you've made your life about, what does it say about you?

You can take it a step further and ask what you think it says about you vs. what others think it says about you.

I.e., I think that my life is about music.  And I think what that says about me is that I'm eager to take the building blocks I have (known as life experience, personal influences, personality, artistic influences, and many more) and create something new that also reflects the sum of its parts, and that says something to someone.  Other people may think it says that I have a thirst for attention.

Speaking of which, I'm parched.  So this blog post is done.  But think about it.

Two Marketing Tactics That You SHOULD NOT Use To Get A Date

Sometimes, life calls for a bit of sales pizzazz.  And sometimes, dating scenarios call for a bit of sales pizzazz.  However, sometimes, dating scenarios DO NOT CALL FOR SALES PIZZAZZ*.

* I'm by no means a marketing expert.  But I've picked up enough in my day to know that some of it is just not a good idea when it comes to getting a person to go out with you.

Now that my legal obligations are out of the way, let's get into it.  Consider yourself lucky, because you're not only about to find out how to suck less at getting a date, you're also going to be able to pick up some tips on how to be a marketing champ.

1.) Market THROUGH People, Not TO People

This a solid marketing premise that can be applied to any product or idea.  The key to marketing is not to just deliver a message to someone.  That's only marketing to someone, and the buck stops there.  Getting the person excited enough to pass the message along to their friends, family, and acquaintances is how marketing really stands to deliver results.

Take this guy, for example.  Look how bored and utterly miserable that bread has made him.  He was marketed to, not marketed through.

"How disappointing.  Considering the phrase 'coolest thing since sliced bread', you'd think they'd slice it to at least make it the second coolest thing.  Nevermind, Twitter.  I'll find something else to tell you about."

Here's what it might've looked like if the manufacturers of that bread were marketing through him:

"Who cares if it's not sliced!  BUY ALL THE BREADS!  TELL ALL THE FRIENDS!"

That's more like it.  But there's more to the idea here.

From this concept of marketing THROUGH someone comes the idea that if Steve knows Jim, and Jim knows Stacy, then Steve also knows Stacy.  Not personally per se, but Steve has access to Stacy because of their mutual connection, Jim.  Isn't this the point of facebook?  "Well, no I don't know him...but 15 mutual friends?!  Friend request sent!"

So, in short, the point is to use someone you know to get to other people.

If I was trying to get a date with a girl, it'd be what we call a "Bad Idea" to ask her out, and after being turned down, say, "Hey well that's fine, but what about your friends and family?  I'll bet you've got a fine sister!  Or perhaps a divorced mother?  Doesn't matter, tell EVERYONE!"

2.) Business Cards/Electronic Press Kits

It's important to be able to leave your information with someone in one way or another.  If a great conversation is had about something, but a flier, business card, or website can't be kept in mind to refer to later, the human mind will forget the conversation.  It's just normal, with all the other information we have to absorb everyday from the web, TV, radio, billboards, conversations, school, work, etc. 

In the entertainment industry there is sometimes a website or folder of files known as an EPK, or Electronic Press Kit.  If it were for a band, for example, it would have some of their songs, promotional photos, any news clippings, booking agent contact info, and anything else relevant to the band, such as a biography or tour updates.

I'd consider it a stupid idea to have dedicated dating business cards or a press kit to refer ladies to.  First of all, since dating is so based on personal preference, and marketing is about knowing your audience, I'd have to keep a bunch of different card designs to appeal to different types of ladies.

For example, if I found myself west of the Mississippi, I'd need this card:

Or if I was at a Sci-Fi Convention, I'd need this card:

Any ladies intrigued by this card, I'll have you know that I do own and operate a
1998 Saturn SL2.

And if I wanted a card to appeal to the vast majority of women, I'd use this card:

And forget about an electronic press kit...can you imagine what the web page would look like?
 

Hint: If you can't read the small sections, zoom in on your browser.  Worth it.


I am incredibly intrigued by marketing, in all of its psychological and peer-pressure glory.  I've been tempted to use some of these practices when trying to get a date.  Hell, I just spent 6 hours using Microsoft Paint to do all of the above illustrations.  Oh how I miss my illegal copy of Photoshop, which no longer lets me enter fake serial codes to use it.

But anyhow, the point:  Sales tactics don't help you get dates, 9 times out of 10.  The 1 time out of 10 that it does work, the tactic used was to be honest, approach your target, make your attributes known to your target, and uphold the standard you set when you made your attributes known.

You better appreciate this post.  I wasn't lying when I said 6 hours.

Fun With Embarrassment!

Hello class, welcome to another Life Lesson with Evan!  Today's lesson is about how being embarrassed and humiliated on stage in front of apporximately 150 people can be fun, educational, and utterly terrifying!

Please, maintain your composure.  I promise it will be as worthwhile as the dream you're having about showing up to school pants-less.

But moving ahead:  I have a tale that basically makes me look like an idiot.  I don't have any more "gather round, children" pre-story cliches, so let's just jump into it.

Approximately one month ago, maybe more, I was working my usual gig with Music Industry Workshop at Guitar Center.  One guy I talked to was playing bass, and I then discovered that he played drums in a blues band.  As a matter of fact, the band would be playing just a few short hours later at a club one block away.  And what's more, the band would play and then open up the stage for a jam night!

When I hear 'jam night', I instantly got excited.  I hadn't experienced the bliss of playing live music in months.  I was jonesing.  Plus, I hadn't had a chance to play music with a single Chicago musician since I'd started working.  And to make it all better, the guy I was talking to said he was "curious to see what" I "got behind the kit".  In my mind, I was totally going to get up on stage and command attention like a drummer should, rocking the masses with John Bonham-inspired playing style (Led Zeppelin's first album is very heavy blues-rock, and I know it front to back, so piece-a-cake, right?), and generally win over the keys to the city.

Microsoft Paint representation of my thought process.

So, fast forward a few hours, and I got to the blues club.  Kingston Mines was the name of the place, which seemed cool enough to me.  Little did I know I misjudged the place (more on this later).  I got in by dropping the name of the guy I met, because I own no fake ID and am still 20 years old.  The guy said "Ah, alright.  Well just keep it down will ya?"  Sure thing, Mr. Bouncer.  Sure thing.

I shook hands with the cat I met at Guitar Center (I don't know much about hip musicians, but I know that they call guys 'cats') and met his band leader, a blues archetypical old black guy with a sexy Gibson guitar and gravelly voice.  I was directed to the sign-up sheet for jam night, so I slapped my name on the clipboard, "Evan - Drums", and found my seat.  The band played and they rocked my brain into tapioca.  Check them out here. I looked around though, and began to get a bit nervous.

The guy I met at Guitar Center made it sound like a chill, low-key event.  Like a couple dozen people MAYBE, that's what I was thinking.  By the time the jam started, the place was packed!  Women wearing fur shawls and party dresses and just weirdly spiffy attire-clad men filled the room, and I began to wonder how small of a blues club this place actually was.  And now that I think of it...one of the girls I met there said she saw tourist girls asking someone to take a picture with the in front of the sign.  I asked a friend from work (who happened to come down to check out thejam night, too) and he said "Aw yeah, Kingston Mines is like one the best blues bars in the city."

A quick Google search for 'best blues bar chicago' turned up this TravelChannel.com list of the top 5 Blues bars in Chicago.  Selections from the entry for Kingston Mines include "Kingston Mines is the club that brought the blues to Chicago's North Side." and "The main stage and north stage are continuously graced with some of the best in the business..."

At the moment, I didn't need the hindsight I now have to realize I was screwed.  I could hold down a blues beat (a 1 and a 2 and a 3 and a 4-ee and a 1...) but hadn't realized before how many stops and starts there were in the music, all of which hinge upon the drummer being familiar with the standard upon which most all blues songs rest.  There was one drummer before me, whose energy was...diminished, to say the least, so I thought that I could make up for my lack of blues knowledge by being spirited.

One song later, I was nudged off-stage by the drummer who invited me there.  I jokingly said, "What, firing me after one song?", to which he replied, "Nah man, it was good, you did real good."  I think I have now adopted a personal motto:

If you're being hurried off-stage while being told you did "good", you probably didn't do "good".

Old women, clear your schedule.  Someone's gotta needlepoint that right there.  I think it's got a chance to become an American living room needlepoint mainstay, up there with the likes of "Home Sweet Home".

"Is that from that idiot grandson of ours' blog?"  "Why, yes it is!"

By the time I was getting off stage, I hardly felt embarrassed at all because the rush of playing live music is still up there even if you play live music badly.  But after I sat back down, I thought of the several times I missed the stops, the slowing up and speeding down of a rusty amateur, and the overall unfamiliarity with the style of music I was playing...I realized that I played like crap.  And I was embarrassed as hell.

With some distance from the situation, I can laugh and see the lesson, which is that it's good to be humbled sometimes.  Another lesson is that it's stupid to assume you can impress people when the guy before you is unimpressive.  Another lesson is that I need to practice drums a helluva lot more. 

However, I have slipped one gem into my pocket out of this whole ordeal:  I can tell people that I had the guts to get on stage and play the blues and Kingston Mines.  And that's worth something in some Chicago circles.

This is really one of the only noteworthy adventures I've had while in Chicago, but I do so love this one because it's a story I'm going to tell children and grandchildren some day.  It has every aspect necessary:  A problem and a lesson.  And I may change it up just a bit to make myself out to be less of an idiot.

A Problem With Modern Music

I used to be a big doom-and-gloom-er about modern music.  I'm not as bad anymore, because I've found plenty of examples of modern music that are worth their weight in licensing paperwork.  Industry joke for ya there.

However, certain faces of modern music have this one problem I just can't stand.  Much of it tends to be the indie music scene that is proliferating in many genres.  It's the issue of playing simple stuff and calling it "moderation", as if playing simple things makes one artist more tasteful and self-denying of indulgence than another.

Drummers happen to be another small ecosystem where this runs rampant.  For example, I'll talk to a drummer about how they play.  And they get off on this kick about how they like to play simply and not make waves, to play kind of understated and with subtleties you have to listen hard to hear...I have to choke back vomit.  Their whole tone will imply that they are superior because you have to TRY HARDER to appreciate their playing.  You have to FOCUS HARDER to hear their idiosyncracies.  Well, the first glaring argument I have is this:  You have the loudest freaking thing money can buy you, and you want to make LESS noise?

Then there's this aforementioned issue of moderation.  Moderation is a good thing.  You drink in moderation, you don't die.  You discuss politics in moderation, you keep a low blood pressure.  You tell poop jokes in moderation, your girlfriend's mom doesn't want her to dump you.

I feel that moderation in many things is good...but let me ask you this:  When was the last time you expressed yourself in moderation?  So it's not an issue of moderation.  It's an issue of playing what people want to hear.

I'll be bold enough to say these drummers who are way too good to be playing the way too bad parts they play are only doing so because it's what people want to her.  If they want to put THEIR instruments and vocals in a drawer by barely using them, they can go ahead.  But I'm going to be whaling on the drums behind them while they stand around and shift weight from one foot to the other awkwardly like they've got a poopy diaper.  Don't tell any future girlfriend's moms I told that joke.

So here's my thing:  indie hipsters, put on some pants that fit.  There's enough bassists barely playing their instrument, so leave drummers alone.  If you want a simple sound, that's fine.  We can play simple without it being some damned fashion statement.  I don't think I should always be hitting the crap out of things, just that if I'm not, it isn't some sort of superiority in my mind.  It's less activity and that's it.  It's not witty, it's not a social commentary on the understated energy of our generation, it's nothing less than "Didn't hit as hard that take".

< unbridled >

Love is a mystery cocktail.  How the hell do you make one?  Because it tastes really good, and I would like to know how to make one so I don't have to call upon some sort of divine bartender to scratch my itch. 

Jokes aside, I was thinking about this and I realize it is such a big deal love ever happens.  Because here's everything that has to happen:

Person 1 has to be attracted to Person 2 physically. 

Person 2 has to be attracted to Person 1 physically. 

Person 1 has to be attracted to Person 2 emotionally. 

Person 2 has to be attracted to Person 1 emotionally. 

Person 1 has to have the qualities that Person 2 wants. 

Person 2 has to have the qualities that Person 1 wants. 

Person 1 cannot make any large mistakes when they're first meeting and getting together.  Person 2 cannot make any large mistakes when they're first meeting and getting together.

  Person 1 has to be a person who is able to pursue what they want. 

Person 2 has to be a person who is able to pursue what they want. 

Person 1 has to still be what Person 2 wants. 

Person 2 has to still be what Person 1 wants. 

Person 1 has to like Person 2 enough to jump through stupid hoops like meeting parents and going to lame parties and get-togethers with their friends. 

Person 2 has to like Person 1 enough to jump through stupid hoops like meeting parents and going to lame parties and get-togethers with their friends. 

Person 1 has to jump through stupid hoops like meeting parents and going to lame parties and get-togethers with their friends. 

Person 2 jump through stupid hoops like meeting parents and going to lame parties and get-togethers with their friends.

I could continue on but you get it.  And I'm not even up to the engagement, which can be stuffed full of difficulties and more requirements.

I'm not too sure what brought about these thoughts, but overall it's just striking me as dumbfounding.  Each time I strike out with some girl I'm interested in, I understand more clearly that it isn't easy to make this whole connection thing happen.  Perhaps if I behaved more like a frat boy it'd be easier.  In that case, I'm glad it's difficult.

All part of an ongoing lesson in how to treat people properly when I finally see them come into my life.