The Real Me

Who doesn't like a good introduction?

 I don't, that's who.  Only joking, I'm quite good at introductions.  I prefer to begin each one with a sweaty handshake, looking wistfully at the person and craving physical contact, from which I've been distanced for quite some time.  Wanna be best friends?!

Don't worry, I'm not one of those stalker best friends.  One time, my BFF Stacy didn't wanna be BFF's anymore, because I had memorized her blood type...Like, come on!  I memorized it, so like, when she got hurt or something, I could like tell the medics her blood type and they could like totally save her life!

Enough jokes.  I will fling onto tangents more than a high school math course.  So be prepared.


I'm currently 18, finishing high school, and looking forward to my career at Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais, Illinois.  I currently attend a high school in Indiana.  I play drums, write songs and stories, hunt wolverines with my uncle in Alaska...gosh!, and hang out with friends.  I am conservative, fiscally and religiously.  I do not approve of the current administration, and think that the promises being made are like when Mommy mentioned ice cream just to get us to shut up whilst we screamed and flung jars of mayonnaise around the grocery store.  By the time you get in the car, and fall asleep like kids do, you forget all about the ice cream.  I've just been making this up as I go, but now that I narcissistically admire my work, I see that it's a pretty good analogy.  I will quote an old friend:

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"Evan, if you were a superhero, your superpower would be analogies."

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She was a girl.  That's why it's in pink.


Moving ahead:  I love soccer, and I will back Manchester United in thermonuclear global war any day.  This summer, I will be vehemently supporting England and the United States in the World Cup, basically the best sporting event known to man.  The Super Bowl?  The Toilet Bowl in comparison to World Cup.  And just like a toilet bowl, every so often people rush to it, and discover that it stinks and is filled with crap.  
Analogy Man - 1; Super Bowl - 0.


I am deeply in love with Classic Rock.  The Beatles and Led Zeppelin, as far as I'm concerned, are all you need.  Or maybe Love is all you need.  Either way, The Beatles are involved, which is alright with me.  I also like alot of modern rock, mostly Christian rock.  House of Heroes is solid, I recommend checking them out.  Relient K is never a bad choice, though I've declined in my listening to them due to a plethora of personal memories associated with like every song.  Gotta love breakups that ruin a perfectly good band.


I play drums, and was in a band for awhile, which was alot of fun.  Due to the incredibly politically correct "creative differences", I left the band.  In real terms, one member was impossible to work with due to his utter superiority in all things music.  I mean, I'm just jealous because he's so awesome, and I'm so not.  It is a sore spot, me and a friend started the band with the intention of letting nothing get in front of the music, and then this diva shows up and blows it.  Meh.  I'll start a better band soon in college.


What else, what else....I like pizza.  And meat.  As of right now, that's all you need to know.


So, can you see the real me?  Can ya, Can ya?